Come take my hand
I’ll walk you through the wilds of a strange fantastic land called love
Let’s begin
To explore the vast unknown between each other’s nose and chin
And it’s a new exciting road we’re on
I’ll try to summarize the way I feel about you in this song
It’s a big strong feeling that I have inside
So sit back, enjoy the ride
I promise not to leave you alone
Well, except when I go out of town
My job requires me to travel
Two-thirds of the year
Also, I can’t tell you what I do
I hope I’m not blindsiding you and
I promise that I’ll be true
Well, as true as I can be
Cause I’ve got problems with fidelity
You knew this going in
Come on, we had this conversation
And it’s not like I’m blindsiding you with this
What’s the big deal?
It was just a passing fling
It’s not like she meant anything to me
Oh, God, stop crying
Or at least do it more quietly
The folks next door’ll think I beat you
Look, do you want to get counseling?
It’ll be a bonding thing for us, like doing something dangerous
And laughing when we survive
Happy just to be alive
I promise I’ll be more honest with you
As long as you don’t ask too many questions
Maybe you should get a hobby
Why don’t you take up macramé?
Yeah, that’d keep you busy
It’d give your life more meaning and
Who knows, maybe you’ll sell some pieces
Start up your own company and
By then you won’t need me anymore
Oh, come on, I know you
You’ll be far too occupied with
Selling macramé online and filling
Orders to address my needs when
I am home at all and
I’ll keep travelling until the kids don’t recognize my face
And that “passing fling” becomes the only one who understands
Just how emasculated I have felt since your
Income surpasses mine and
When she tells me she’s expecting and I have to make a choice between
Leaving you for her and being blackmailed for the child support
I’ll come to you and say I tried as hard and as long as I could
But you knew this going in
Come on, we had this conversation, so it’s not like I’m blindsiding you with this